Ae Aaji

                                                                         

 

 

Day 1

 

It was her spot. The window, the little sunlight, and yesterday’s newspaper. Her chair was as old as her but still stubborn when putting pressure on. Her surroundings were quite pleasing to anyone’s eyes. The ever-burning fragrance sticks were for her  Little Lord Krishna so that he doesn’t have to breathe what we breathe. The Gold on her was minimal, with a couple of bangles on her right hand and a moonstone ring on her pinky. The spectacles and its old case almost represented her entire existence. To even imagine what all stories even her glasses would’ve wanted to tell, fascinates me.

 

“Aaji? Oye! Aaji”

 

It was her habit to never respond immediately if someone addressed her because she believed that would make her look like an idle person waiting for some attention but In her head, she was always working towards building a ladder that would end at Lord Krishna’s feet. A Stairway to heaven.

 

“Aaji? I have some news for you”

 

“Ae Sham. How old are you?” Why do you look so . . so . . grown-up?”

 

“Aaji! I am 23 now. Forget all that and look at this . . . It is an appointment letter. I got a job.”

 

“23? No. You don’t even have a beard or rather a mustache. Mohan.. your father had a beard at your age, though he looked much older still you can’t be 23.”

 

I can’t grow a beard and I have a max of 5 hair on my upper lip which isn’t even eligible to be called a mustache. No wonder they named me Sham if only Lord Krishna had a beard.

 

“Aaji! Listen to me carefully. Hold this letter”

 

“What is this? Is that my revised Pension Order?”

 

“NO!! It is an appointment letter. I got a job. I’ll have a monthly salary now.”

 

The curtains were raised. She cried. It lasted for a couple of minutes. She took out a bar of half-eaten chocolate from under her pillow. Pulled my cheeks, cried again a little, and gave me the chocolate. 

 

“Will you stop crying now? I haven’t even called Aai and Baba yet.”

 

“The Ladder is almost complete. I can see his feet from here . . .Sham! When do you have to join?”

 

“Aaji! I’ll destroy the ladder, alright? Why do you do this to me? Why can’t you be happy for me? Why do you have to talk about death? You are staying with me forever and I don’t want to hear about your ladder thing again.”

 

“Sham! I don’t have many tears left inside me now . . .I am so happy that you’ll be working now and soon with his (Lord Krishna) blessings, you’ll be married. Enough of this already . . .When do you have to join?” 

 

“Tomorrow 10 am”

 

“You have all my blessings”

 

“Listen, I’ll leave now. I need to scan some documents and also have to call Aai and Baba about the job. You take your medicine and sleep in the afternoon. Please”

 

“You worry too much. Bye”

 

“Bye”

 

 

The Night

 

*Knock* 

*Knock*

*Knock*

 

There were times when I use to call Aaji “A Dream Vulture”. Every perfect dream I ever had always went down the gutter because just like the Vulture, she’d come out of nowhere and wake me up with all kinds of blabbering that one does if woken up suddenly.

 

“Sham? Please open the door. Sham”

 

I still remember her cry for help. 

 

“Sham? We have lost him. He is dead”

 

“Aaji! Come here . . . Please sit down. Have some water.”

 

“Sham. He built his ladder much faster. Look at him. He is no more. You lost your Aajoba (Grandfather). Please call Mohan and Sheetal . . . your parents need to be here soon, we both are nothing but helpless.”

 

“Aaji! Listen to me carefully. I gave you the medicine after dinner last night. Did you take it?”

 

“What kind of a grandson you are Sham? He is dead and you are worried about my medicine. You are useless like your Baba. I’ll call the neighbours.”

 

I went in her and looked under the pillow. The Tablets were there . . .

 

“These are your medicines. I told you to be honest with me Aaji. Please don’t do this . . . . Here take the meds and also, you need to sleep.”

 

“You want me to sleep beside my dead husband? I didn’t raise you to be such an insensitive human being.”

 

Now came the most difficult act for me to perform. 

 

“Aajoba left us 15 years back. See that photo on the wall. That is him. Aaji? Please let’s go inside. You need to rest.”

 

“Oh Krishna!! Is this why you have kept me alive? It hasn’t even been 10mins and he has already put him on the wall.”

I shouldn’t have shouted on her . . .

 

“AAJI”

 

She held my hand firmly. I scared her . . . 

 

“Sham! Will you beat me?”

 

“Aaji!! No No No No . . . Why would you even say that? You are my Aaji, I am sorry that I shouted. Please forgive me.”

 

She hugged me and cried. I could hear her murmuring. I had to calm her down.

 

“Aaji! Look at me. You sit here, alright? I’ll call the ambulance. I’ll take him outside now. Pray for his afterlife. I’ll come soon”

 

 

Aaji suffered from Dementia. Its been 7 years now that we have been dealing with it. She has suffered more than she deserved. We have had sleepless nights for I don’t even know how long because of her condition. We have seen things through her eyes in this little house. There days where she would sleep all day long and then there days she just wont sleep. From Grandfather to the students she use to teach, I’ve seen them all here . .. 

 

Now, I have to lift thin air in front of her  and pretend it to be Aajoba. 

 

“Aaji! Any last words for him?”

 

She looked at me and said “I don’t know why but I Keep seeing your Aajoba. It is unholy to see dead people around the house. I think once you parents return, we should do a Havan. I think his soul still hasn’t found the last wood to built the ladder. You know that I do pray for him and hope he finds peace.”

 

I just kept looking at her. All I could do was just stand there and smile.

 

 

Day 2

 

We slept around 4 in the morning. Certainly not the best way to show up on the first day of work. Aaji was still asleep because of the medicine but I had to wake her up.

 

“Aaji? Oye!! Wake up”

 

Guess what, I was the Dream Vulture now.

 

“Aaji! Ae Aaji? Wake up”

 

She looked me as if she was peaking through an eyehole.

 

“What is it Sham? Why wont you let me sleep?”

 

“I have a news for you and I am quite sure, you’ll be happy to hear about it”

“What news? Let me sleep. I haven’t slept all night. Your Aajoba snores a lot these days. I think he said he was going to the market and he’ll be back in sometime.”

 

“I- I met him, he said he’ll be back by afternoon. He has to visit an old friend.”

 

“Good. I can sleep more now. Go now”

 

“No! I have a news for you . . . .. Please get up. Only for 2mins. Please”

 

“Alright!! You are just like your father.”

 

I hand over the appointment letter to her. 

 

“What is this ?”

 

“It is an appointment letter. I gotta job. It pays really well.”

 

“A job? How old are you? You don’t even have a beard yet.”

 

“Enough with the beard jokes. I am 23. I finally got the job Aaji. A monthly salary now. I can buy all the Krishna Books for you”

 

The curtains were raised again. The Act Began.

 

“You have given this old soul happiness. I love you so much. When do you have to join?”

 

“One hour from now.”

 

“Now? Do not leave before having the curd and don’t forget to go to the temple. Have you told your Aai and baba yet?”

 

“No! You are the first now. Okay listen to me now . . . The helper and the nurse will be here with you for the rest of the day. Aajoba will be back by afternoon. Please take your medicines and don’t hide them”

 

The instructions weren’t half of her concern. She kept looking under the pillow.

 

“Is this what you are looking for?”

 

I gave her the chocolate.

 

“You eat first Aaji.”

 

“I will. Also, behave properly, okay? Its your first day.”

 

“Yes, Aaji. Bye now. I’ll see you in the evening”

 

“Bye”

 

 

                                                                        

 Day 3

 

“Aaji? Ae Aaji. Wake up”

 

“Why wouldn’t you let me sleep? Since the day I lost your Aajoba, I haven’t slept peacefully.”

 

“Look at this . . . It is an appointment letter. I got a job Aaji. I got a job”

 

“I am so happy for you Mohan. I just pray that even Sham gets a job soon.”

 

 

I did this every morning until she built her ladder.We lost her on the day of Janmashtami, call it a coincidence or her love for Krishna, the ladder was finally built. Until then, the only light in grey world was me telling her everyday that I got a job. It would brighten her face. WE lived through her Dementia for 7 years. We had our worst of moments and some . . . some, where it was just a normal day with her being either asleep or wide awake picking on me and make those beard jokes. 

 

I love you and I miss you.